Charles Park's e-mail to Father Benat Oxtoa, Society of the Blessed Hammer and Stake, nicknamed "the Defrocked Scourge of the Undead," Mexico City, Mexico
Dear Father Oxtoa:
I write in the strictest confidence and seriousness to appeal for your help. I have visited your Web site and read the history of your group. I believe you can help me as no one else can or, perhaps, would even wish to.
I am Korean-American, a devout Christian churchgoer and contributor to various Christian charities, and a wealthy man. My business is importing ginseng products into the United States. I have been happily married to Margo, a wonderful Irish-American woman (maiden name Calhoun), for twenty one years, since we met in college. We live in a beautiful house in San Francisco.
And I am pained to say that our 18 year old daughter, Naomi, has been seduced by a vampire.
She is in love with him. She often goes on the Web and posts stories about their erotic encounters under the user name "vampirelover69." These stories are deeply shameful and degrading. I am certain that her mind has been placed under some malefic "spell." She was never this type of girl!
I became suspicious when Naomi began behaving in a distracted and overly-emotional, even "manic" way last autumn, just like a typical "girl in love," yet she obstinately refused to talk about who might be was "seeing." As it turns out, she was (and is) seeing her professor.
His name is Damien Stark. He teaches at San Francisco University and is a writer whose first novel, Vampire Blood, is currently on the bestseller lists.
Even before she enrolled in Professor Stark's creative writing class (which he teaches only at night!), my Naomi was overflowing with enthusiasm for his novel, obstensibly a work of fiction describing the life of a dashing young Englishman named Henry Moore who gets turned into a vampire in 15th century Venice. I've been told it is extremely detailed and "realistic."
I do not normally invoke the supernatural, but I have come to regard vampiric activity to be the only possible explanation for what is happening to Naomi. And just to prove that I am not insane or pulling your leg, I take the liberty of attaching -- in the strictest confidentiality, *please* -- a report from the detective agency I retained to "tail" Damien Stark. As you'll see, it is a "real eye-opener."
At about 3:30 AM this morning, long after my wife had gone to sleep -- yet my daughter's lights, in the in-law apartment, were still blazing, and I was afflicted by terrible insomnia -- I turned on the TV and watched part of a movie about Mexican vampires titled From Dusk Till Dawn. Maybe you have seen it.
I was absolutely riveted, despite the silly special effects. And it seemed to me far more than a mere coincidence that *this* particular movie should have been playing (on HBO2) just at this painful hour of anguish and soul-upheaval due to the shattering of all my most cherished beliefs about reality.
At one point in the movie actor George Clooney says something to the effect of, "I don't believe in vampires, but I do believe in my own eyes. And what I saw were vampires."
I jumped to my feet and cried out "Yes," when I heard that. My blood was pounding and I was drenched in sweat. Those brave and simple words gave me the strength I needed to act.
So I turned off the TV and went online to search for vampire hunters. That's how I found you, Father Oxtoa. Please, in the blessed name of our gentle savior Jesus Christ, help me. I am begging you, on my knees.
Respectfully,
Charles Sung Park
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